Look, I’m not stupid. I realize that you don’t owe me anything. If anything, I owe you something (the act of making this blog open to the public implies I’m going to deliver…something).

That having been said, this is addressed to all a y’all that are watching American Idol. Once again, the numbers for that show are blowing up.

Great.

I hate this show.

I hate the premise.

I hate the style of singing they promote (OK, “hate” is a little strong).

All in all, if it weren’t for my DVR I would be about ready to commit hari-kari (as you will all eventually find out, this show is really bad for your karma and you will probably comeback as a rabidly hungry dung beetle!).

But, look, I won’t blog my hate for this show.

I won’t! I Promise.

>OK, dude, what do you want?

Well, maybe one or two of you rented/bought the Firefly series on DVD? Maybe you liked the series or saw the movie?

If so, then do this fan-boy a solid and click here.

The producers are trying to find out if there is enough interest to green light a second season.

So, do this for me. It’s a mitzvah and it’ll help wash your soul clean when you’ve got to meet Buddha at the pearly gates.

* How the news media distorted
   Katrina for their own gain.

 

* Brown is still employed by OHS and
   will be a "consultant" to determine
   (wait for it...) "what went wrong."
 
* No bid contracts going to everyone
   but local businesses.

 

* The administration (approved by 
   the fine folks in the House and 
   Senate) allowing those contracts
   to hire people and pay them less
   than normally allowed BY LAW.

 

* The admin loosing pollution controls
   ...you know, to help economy.
 
* The Education President praising

   the Governor of Georgia for

   closing schools for two days...
   you know, to save gas!

 

* Plus, the admin's top procurement
   officer (David Hossein Safavian)
   was arrested by the FBI for
   obstruction and lying (well, former.
   He faxed his letter of resignation
   when he saw all the black SUVs pull
   up to the house).

So, last night I went to the Sneak Preview for "Serenity." If you don't know, this is a movie based on a TV show that Fox cancelled called "Firefly."

OK, so, to get to the main point: the movie kicked azz!

<There are absolutely no spoilers in this blog>

 

<Well, not about the movie, or the series>

 

<Ok, the spoiler for the spoiler is "I am not as cool as I had always assumed I was">

If you enjoyed the show AT ALL, you will *love* the movie. They did a great job of providing the background a wider audience needs while not boring us uber-geeks. The movie has all the trademarks of the series. The dialog is there, the great characters and fully fleshed “bad guys”, the mood, emotion, love, sex, pathos and hate.

Its all there baby!

If you groove on Sci-fi and haven't seen "Firefly," you will dig this movie! In fact, you've got three months to find out all about it (it opens on September 30th). I recommend buying/renting the entire run of the series. If for no other reason than to support good writing!

Seriously, this is good drama. These are complex characters that you grow to care about and want to crawl inside their heads. Everyone involved cares about the work AND the audience. If this sounds interesting, at all, buy the series. I know, I know, the series was cancelled. Who wants to be left hanging? Well, in nine months you will be able to buy this movie and, in effect, own the run of the series.

Hey! If you wanna borrow my DVDs, just holler!

Anyway, I'll be there on opening day. The idiot in the front row trying to get everyone to sing "the hero of Canton" before the movie starts? Yeah, that’ll be me.

In fact, go ahead and start practicing now.

If you need something with music, here's the theme to the series (another song I will be forcing the straights(+) to sing): http://www.fireflywiki.org/img/Ballad_of_Serenity.mp3

There will be a quiz.

UBER-FAN UPDATE (or how I almost got divorced):

With over 30 sneaks spread out all over the country last night, I figured there wasn’t a chance in hell that any of the actors would show. Well, I guess since Summer Glau is from San Antonio (Congrats, by the way! I hate to see the Pistons lose, but if they gotta, glad it was the Spurs. Plus, I got a Robert Horry autograph from his Rocket days I’m still treasuring), they decided to send her to the Houston screening.

Three words: Oh my FREAKIN’ gOD!

Five more words: My Wife’s Filing For Divorce!

Not really.

But DAYUM Summer is smoking hot!

What ever they did to her to make her look … so … um … “freaky” for the series (not “bad” - psychotic, maybe), those people are truly wizards.

You know, because she is so FREAKIN HOT!

<Calm DOWN!>

OK, at the end of the movie they set up a table down by the screen for her to sign autographs. We were sitting on the third ROW! When they announce where the line is to start, this crowd suddenly starts…not “rushing”, exactly, but, you know, these are FanBoys. This will be the only time that most will have the chance to get next to a girl that doesn’t necessarily result in a restraining order.

So, all of sudden, its starting to look like we may be at the back of the line!

Oh no!

So, I say to the guy at the end of the row something like “hey, we are on the third row, here! Pick up the pace before we end up at the end of the line PEOPLE!”

Then, as if someone tapped me on my shoulder, I turned to see my wife staring at me and tapping her foot in that way that is universally understood to mean “I am not happy with you JACKZZ!”

My response: “Remember what the preacher man said, honey. In sickness and health, in winter AND *SUMMER*...(Guido turned around and gave me an approving head nod for that one).

Actually got a chuckle from the FBs in line (she wasn’t pizzed because I was standing in line to get an autograph from some 18 year old actress wearing a skin tight half-shirt and jeans cut so low that…well, lets just say a fresh wax job would be in order. She’s cool like that. No, she was pizzed because I was almost falling over myself to stand in line…She’s kinda picky that the person she’s spending the rest of her life with doesn’t look like a complete idiot).

I think most of the FBs were pretty impressed that one of their own had actually gotten a “straight” female to show up at the alter…AT ALL! So, I had that going for me.

Anyway, let’s wrap this up with the punch line: when it got to be my turn to say “hi” and take my swag, I totally froze up. I had wanted to say something like “the work all of y’all have done on this series is just terrific and something you should all be very proud of” or something just as…whatever...

Instead, I said “Great show! Thanks.”

Why did I freeze up? First, it’s because I suddenly became very aware that there was an entire theater FULL of people standing behind me. And, ask OG: I’m loud. So, I guess, in the end, I just couldn’t go over to the dark side and embrace my inner FB.   :( 

The other, far more embarrassing aspect: well, it was something akin to being star-struck. I mean, I was literally thinking “she knows Joss.”

And with that, there was nothing I could say that would have been “acceptable.”

What…

A…

L

O

S

E

R

I may have a job, a wife, a dog, and a house, but, inside, I guess I’m still living in my parent’s basement.  

 -–

(+) Anyone who is not either a “fan boy” (male or female) or who otherwise mostly lives in the real world.